Ann -  

Now that I know, by his own words, that I had chosen to believe this criminal, a liar. I feel hard and bitter towards him, and I am not used to such anger within me. I am so proud of her for having the courage to speak her truth, against such odds.

It’s hard to find the words to explain the terrible impact and my feelings of having been a total failure as a parent because of his manipulation and lies and thinking what he did to her, and how she has suffered for so long

His admission, after years of denial,  Many, many times. Since that day, in court when I heard those terrible words--the admission--, I hear it all again, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I spend my days sobbing with regret and disgust.

I feel as if I have been sexually abused too,

 disgust and hatred toward this man

Bekah - 
she was safe in the company of others – the abuse only happened in secret! She obviously cared for him and had to rely on him, but hated the behaviour – both at the same time, and both apparently very commonly occurring. 

nightmares

desire to fit in, to be normal

difficulty concentrating, flashbacks, worries

almost as if I’m reliving the incidents over and over again

anxiety, panic attacks

inability to trust men

Ann worries about what Bekah might do to herself or someone else.

Blames self for Ann's pain and Coonie's hurts

Physical pain to cover the emotional pain

Sees herself as different. (Ann can help here.)


Why me? Why only partial truth about what happened? Why? I was only a little girl. That one word makes me cry because it makes me think of you. 


I feel so much pity for you, Jean-Luc. You had the power to teach me love instead of hate. You had the power to learn who I was instead of turning me into someone with no reason of being. 


I was a child full of love and you stole that from me and turned it into fear. You took something of no value to you but was the basis of my being. You destroyed it with no regards of consequences to me later in life. You took it, though you couldn’t see it yourself. I was too young to protect it and now I cannot find it anymore. 


That is what you did when you stole my pride. I know deep down inside of me what kind of person I really am, but who can I trust with such sensitivity after what you did to me? There are no words to truly reflect the pain, the  fears and the lifelong scars that you have put me through. If anyone here doubts that they are real, try walking in my shoes for just one day and maybe then you’ll understand better.